I’ve been thinking a lot about events and other things that have changed me throughout my life. I could probably list a few, and my hope is that my trip to Rwanda becomes one of them.

What I’m trying to figure out though is what makes me change after them. What is it that actually causes or triggers the change? The reason I’m curious is because I don’t think that the events themselves have much to do with actually changing me. I don’t think an event in itself can carry the needed momentum to actually affect life change.

I look back and see events that I had thought would end up changing me. Would end up invigorating my relationship with God. And when I look back, I really don’t see the change that I expected would happen.

Then I look at events that I wasn’t entirely sure what would happen. Events that I went into a little unsure of. These are the events that have shaped who I am and my relationship with God.

So I don’t think it’s so much the momentum of any one event, program, class or trip. And I’m not even so sure it’s a willingness to change. It’s something else. Something I can’t quite put my finger on, but it definitely involves the Holy Spirit and His movement in my life at that time.

The one constant among the things that have changed me is the period after. For days and weeks I can’t stop thinking about it. I think that that period after is where the actual change is taking place. That is when God is working in me, changing me. Absolutely He is working during the event to open my heart to hear truth and to open my eyes to see, but I think that it’s after that that the real change comes from.

I feel like that is what is happening with my trip to Rwanda. I think I need to spend some time right now to allow God to shape me and to change me, because I think that this is probably the most important time for that. I just hope I don’t let it slip away.